There's not a place in all the land like the good old tower of London,
Where everything is awfully grand, in the good glorious tower of London
For the walls are high and the dungeons deep
Refreshments there are very, very cheap.
But the beer it is not, warranted to keep
In the good old tower of London.

Sing Hey! Sing Ho! For the beer in the Tower of London.

There's no place on the face of the earth like the Tower of London, if you've never been there, go again, it's a glorious place. Everything old and now, in the first place, when you visit the tower of London, it's free... but you have to pay a shilling to go in. And the first ancient item you'll see is the man that takes the money at the door. Then you pass through the refreshment room which is the oldest refreshment room in the tower... and the only one. And there are some very ancient items in the refreshment room... such as... the buns... and the ginger beer... and the barmaids and the what-nots. 'Good day ladies, do you wish to see the tower... splendid day to see the tower, nice and gloomy... Oh yes, I can show you round the tower, of course, I'm not allowed to do so but I can do so. Now er... in the first place, this is the refreshment room... er, of course if you want anything in the refreshment room, of course.. now is the time. You don't care for anything! No... thank you. Only, as we go along there's no oranges or ginger beer to be had and of course if you feel faint you have to come back through the refreshment room. No... no you don't want any... no. I do! Still, we'll proceed. Standing with our backs to the refreshment room we get a lovely view of the tower. Follow me ladies. Standing with our backs to the tower we get er... a lovely view of the er... refreshment room. Now you see that man, over there... that's the sentry, he stands there night and day with his gun fixed, bayonet fixed and his eye is only on one spot and that is er... the refreshment room.

For it's a splendid time to see the London tower
Everything is free and there's nothing for to pay
But if you haven't got a bob or two you'd better stay away
From the good old tower of London
Performed by Dan Leno (1860-1904)
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