TURN OVER LEAF
 
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I've just bought this story book from a barrow in the Strand
I should like to read it, for some of the tales are grand
Here's a yarn about a girl who ate some sour plums
They gave her what the French would call a touch of the de-la-gums.

Chorus: Turn over leaf! and we have the final scene
A doctor came without delay and sounded Clementine
Said he, 'My dear, I know your case without a doubt
You've pains inside your,' well I'm blessed, the next leaf is out!


The night was dark as dark as night - in fact 'twas very dark
But still the lovers roosted on the benches in the park
Some boys with thirst for mischief then prepared to make a flame
And so upset the loving birds by showing up their game.

Chorus: Turn over leaf! and we have the final scene
And then to make the fire burn up they poured on benzoline
The boys were in their glee, the girls began to shout
I don't know what they saw because, the next leaf is out!


'How to bring your children up' is what it says in here
Well, no one brings up anything unless they drink bad beer
'If your kids want spanking never hit them with yer hand
But always use yer boot, because it makes them understand.

Chorus: Turn over leaf! and we have some more advice
'Don't be satisfied with once but boot the bounders twice
You'll never frighten kids, however hard you shout
But smack their little,' well I'm blessed, the next leaf is out!


There's another story I should like to read to you
Let me see, I rather think it's number thirty two
It's about a girl who tried a bicycle to ride
But smashed into a grocer's shop - she must have been cock-eyed

Chorus: Turn over leaf! and we have the final scene
She was standing upside down in a tub of margarine
A clergyman stood near, and he gave a fearful shout
For he saw all her' - what a shame, the next leaf is out!
 
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Written and composed by Frank Leo - 1898
Performed by Wilkie Bard (1874-1944)
 
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