UPS AND DOWNS
 
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Experience of 'ups' and 'downs' I've had since quite a boy,
When the game of 'see-saw' on a log for hours I would enjoy;
But when I talk of ups and downs, the trials of life I mean,
And no doubt every person here their ups and downs have seen.

Chorus: For when you're up, you're up, and when you're down, you're down,
And when you're just halfway between, you're neither up nor down.
For fortune oft may smile and just as oft may frown,
For when you're up, you're up my boys, And when you're down, you're down.

I've driven to the Derby with a four-in-hand so gay,
I've also gone to Epsom and I've tramped it all the way.
I've had such gorgeous suppers that my taste began to pall,
And I've been content with winkles at a costermonger's stall.

Chorus:

When 'up' in life I used to go to Operas, Plays and Balls,
And always took the best seats in the Dress Boxes and Stalls;
I've also been compelled up in the gallery to sit,
Or be jolly glad if I could get a 'bobs' worth in the pit.

Chorus:

One night while at the Opera, A sweet girl I espied,
I stared at her and smiled and winked, when a young man by her side,
As I came out, walked after me, asked If my name was brown,
When I said, no, said he, take that; and with that, knocked me down.

Chorus:

When travelling on the water with the weather rather rough,
Of 'ups' and 'downs' in that way, I've always had enough;
On one occasion I remember well, I thought I'd drown,
And with the ship and passengers forever settle down.

Chorus:

Yes, I have had my 'ups' and 'downs', my miseries and pain,
But trust I'm up so far, that I may ne'er be down again;
So as you've helped to raise me up and make me of renown,
I most sincerely hope you'll never help to push me down.

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by Arthur Lloyd (1840-1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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