WE ALL JUMPED OUT OF BED
 

Last night all our family was as quiet as a mouse
When Mother woke and thought she heard a burglar in the house,

Chorus: So we all jumped out of bed, all jumped out of bed
Billy got the poker to hit him on the head,
But 'twas father just come home with whisky on the brain
So Mother and me and the family went back to bed again.

Once we were awakened by our neighbour, Pat Mcquire
Who began a yelling thro' our keyhole fire! fire!

Chorus: So we all jumped out of bed, all jumped out of bed,
Run and fetch the engine everybody said,
There was Georgie in his short shirt standing in the rain,
Then Mother and me and the family went back to bed again.

Down in Margate lodgings once we crept beneath the clothes,
There we saw an army of young red coat mosquitoes.

Chorus: So we all jumped out of bed, all jumped out of bed,
And on the floor beneath it we went to sleep instead
We let them starve to death, no food could they obtain,
Then Mother and me and the family went back to ted again.

Mother bought a sheep's head cheap,one evening at a sale,
In the night that 'jimmy"cried because it had no tail

Chorus: So we all jumped out of bed, all jumped out of bed
When we heard the Ba,baa come from that sheep's head,
It jumped out of the pot and bolted up the lane :
Then Mother and me and the family went back to bed again.


Once a pair of lovers underneath our window stood
She kept saying, 'Kiss me John" he wouldnt, tho' he could.

Chorus: So we all jumped out of bed, all jumped out of bed
Kiss and get it over quick, everybody said,
Then we heard her say, oh John you want a shave, its plain
So Mother and me and the family went back to bed again.

Once we had our sleep disturbed and fright was on each face,
We thought it was an earthquake, something fairly shook the place.

Chorus: So we all jumped out of bed, all jumped out of bed,
It's a gas explosion, everybody said.
But we found it was a policeman kissing martha Jane,
So Mother and me and the family went back to bed again.

 
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Written and composed by Harry Leighton & Sam Mayo - 1903
Performed by Sam Mayo (1875-1938)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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