Last night at my sister's all the family gathered round
To name her first new baby if a nice name could be found
Four and twenty turned up, and we'd each a different name
From Barbara to Clementine, Penelope and Jane.

Chorus: The Uncle Joe said, 'Oh, ho,oh
I think we'll call her Maggie.' But we all said, 'No.'
'Mary's a nice name,' said old Aunt Flo
'I think we'll call her Mary.' But we all said, 'No.'
Then Doctor Jericho, who just popped in you know
Said, 'Why make all this fuss?
'Cos the baby's not a she, it's a he, the same as me
So shall we call him Gus? And we all said 'Yus.'

Uncle Jeff who's rather deaf and hadn't heard a word
Of what the doctor said, stood up and acted quite absurd
'We'll call her Mabel,' he yelled out, 'Whatever may occur
If it's good enough for my first wife, it's good enough for her.


Uncle Bill who'd brought a bonnet round, he gave a sigh
Then rushed off quickly to the shop and changed it for a tie
Aunt Matilda screamed, as she walked out and slammed the door
'If the'd only looked into things they might have found it out before.

Written and composed by Harry Castling
Performed by Lily Morris (1882-1952)
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