Life's full of surprises, at least so I find
Folk give me such shocks, yet they don't seem to mind
The girl I'm engaged to, she gave me a fright
She said, 'You've been flirting! I saw you last night.'

Refrain: I said, 'Wha-a-at! Wha-a-at!
Oh, dash it, what absolute rot
I can only suppose that you want to cause strife
Why, I've never run after a girl in my life
And if you don't believe me, you just ask my wife
She said, 'WHA-A-A-AT!!!

I was writing a letter one day to my Aunt
When Mother rushed in and cried, 'Harold you can't
You can't send that letter. Your poor Aunt Sophia
Has been drowned in the Channel! I've just had a wire.'

Refrain: I said, 'Wha-a-at! Wha-a-at!
Aunt Sophie been drowned! Great Scott.'
'Yes, while she was bathing! It must have been cramp
Poor Auntie' she sobbed. Then my forehead went damp
And I shouted, 'Good Heavens! I've stuck on the stamp.'
She said, 'WHA-A-A-AT!!!

Mrs Jones is the lady who lives next to us
She's a regular nuisance, does nothing but fuss
She screamed out one morning, 'Oh Heavens! Oh Lor!
Baby's fall'n out of a window! Down there by the door.'

Refrain: I said, 'Wha-a-at! Wha-a-at!
As in terror I rushed to the spot
Then I called up, 'Don't worry! All right, Mrs Jones
You'll be thankful to hear that he's broken no bones
It's the fright must have killed him - it wasn't the stones.'
She said, 'WHA-A-A-AT!!!

My dear wife's Mamma came to stay for a week
And concerning her visit I'd rather not speak
But on the last morning my wife, with a shout
Shrieked, 'Mamma's in the well! Oh come quick! get her out.'

Refrain: I said, 'Wha-a-at! Wha-a-at!
As I ran like a hare to the spot
'Good Heavens, my darling, you don't mean to say
Your Mamma's down the well.' Then I cried in dismay
'I must run out and buy a new filter today.'
She said, 'WHA-A-A-AT!!!

A friend in the Air Force once bet me five pound
That I couldn't go up without making a sound
I sat with his dad in the back of the plane
My pal cried, 'You've lost!' as we landed again.

Refrain: I said, 'Wha-a-at! Wha-a-at!
Did I utter a sound? I did not
I've won your old fiver, there's not the least doubt
Though I don't mind admitting I did nearly shout
When you looped the last time, and your father fell out.'
He said, 'WHA-A-A-AT!!!
Written and composed by Dick Henty - 1931
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