WHAT A LOVELY LOT THEY ARE
 
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I know no end of people who can never take a cheerful view
Of anything - It's most discomforting
But all my life I've always tried to look upon the sunny side
It's better far - whate'er the circumstances are
Take the case of Woman, there are people who maintain
That the modern girl's not lady-like and frivolous and vain
'Pon my word, it's scandalous, I'm sure it can't be right
Boys, cast your optics on the young things here tonight.

Chorus: What a lovely lot they are, what a lovely lot they are
How do you do, girls. When I look at you girls
I wish that I'd been born a Sultan or a Shah
What a nice lot, what a nobby little lot
What a lovely lot they are.


Most Englishmen respect the law and show much veneration for
The pomp and state of judge and magistrate
But splendid though it seems to us, I fancy all that pride and fuss
Would have to stop without our good old pal the 'slop'
See him when on duty in a crowded thoroughfare
He's the autocratic king of all the traffic passing there
And the girls who cross the road in safety and in peace
Murmur, 'Whatever should we do without the p'lice.'

Chorus: What a lovely lot they are, what a lovely lot they are
Part of their trade is 'swanking' to the ladies
So, girls, be careful if they take you out 'tat-ta'
They're a nice lot, they're a nobby little lot,
They're a lovely lot, they are.


To own a first class motor-car and go careering near and far
I've often thought must be delightful sport
But as I can't afford to buy a motor just at present, I
Adopt the plan of criticising those who can
Flying down the country road, the motor makes you jump
For it has a way of grunting like a donkey with the hump
And if you can see them when the dust begins to fly
Notice the riders as the motor passes by.

Chorus: What a lovely lot they are, what a lovely lot they are
Each one's a sight there, made up like a nightmare
Inside the monkey-house there's something similar
What a nice lot, what a nobby little lot
What a lovely lot they are.


Although by nature disinclined to be unkind to womankind
It seems to me that I'm compelled to be
But pray let there be no mistake, perhaps it's just as well to state
My meaning clear - I don't refer to ladies here
Those that I'm alluding to demand the right to vote
And they've made themselves ridiculous and played the 'silly goat'
They desire that women shall to Parliament be sent
What price the samples in the present Government.

Chorus: What a lovely lot they are, what a lovely lot they are
Wrangling and bleating, like a mother's meeting
They've done a nice lot of 'climbing down' so far
What a nice lot, what a nobby little lot
What a lovely lot they are.
 
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Words and music by Fred Murray & Fred W. Leigh - 1906
Performed by George Lashwood (1863-1942)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
More George Lashwood
 
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