WHAT EVERYTHING'S MADE OF.
 
I'll tell you what everything's made of, made of, made of, made of,
By your faces you show that you're anxious to know,
So I'll tell you what everythings made of,
When you do know what everythings made of, made of, made of, made of,
A look of surprise will be seen in your eyes,
When I've told you what everything's made of.

Chorus: Listen to me and don't think me too free,
Of what everything's made of, at once I can see,
So for a few moments just listen to me,
And I'II tell you what everything's made of.

What is our butter made of, made of, made of, made of,
I'm afraid that the cow's not responsible now,
For what all the butter is made of,
But a lot of the butter is made of, made of, made of, made of,
Train oil, (think of that) mixed with old mutton fat
And that's what the butter is made of.

Chorus:

What are our soldiers made of, made of, made of, made of,
Of course the old story, true courage and glory,
And that's what our soldiers are made of,
What are our policemen made of, made of, made of, made of,
Very often of lies, and cold rabbit pies
And that's what the bobbies are made of.

Chorus:

What is the Thames made of, made of, made of, made of,
Of scent very strong, not of Eau de Cologne,
I'm certain that's not what its made of,
But I think that the river is made of, made of, made of, made of,
Bad sewerage and rats with drowned dogs and cats
And thats what the river is made of.

Chorus:

What are our sausages made of, made of, made of, made of,
Ah! why did I ask, I've a difficult task,
To really say what they are made of,
I'd better not say what they're made of, made of, made of, made of,
So continue to eat, if you think them a treat
And never mind what they are made of.

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by Arthur Lloyd - 1878
Performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840 - 1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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