WHAT'S A POOR GIRL TO DO?
 
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Was there ever any poor girl so run after?
I can't imagine why it should be so
It's enough to make me split my sides with laughter
When I think of how my 'mashes' come and go
Every time that I'm sent out to do the shopping
Half a dozen I am almost sure to meet
One by one they slyly up to me come hopping
They await me at the corner of the street

Chorus: Well, what's a poor girl to do?
I'm sure I can't help it, could you?
To be young and pretty seems almost a pity
But it has its advantages too
I'm sure I can't help it, could you?
To be young and pretty seems almost a pity
But it has its advantages too.


They pester me all day with their attentions
I never have a single minute's peace
The baker and the milkman have pretentions
That interfere with those of the police
And as for Tommy Atkins, well his chances
Have lately been reduced to almost nil
Because Old Jinks the grocer somehow fancies
I'd rather have the contents of his till.

Chorus:

I have to play one off against the other
Make each believe he is my special 'mash'
I dare not any trademan's hopes quite smother
For fear he'd stop supplies and want his cash
A smile, a wink, and archly said, 'Good-morning'
Means credit for at least another week
Averts the sad necessity of pawning
The trinkets that keep up the family chic.

Chorus:

I've told them all I'm not in any hurry
To slip into the matrimonial noose
I say to each, 'For goodness sake don't worry
I tell you, Sir, it ain't the slightest use.'
But there! The more I'm off, and cool and haughty
The more they sigh and groan and tear their hair
I'm quite convinced that most of them are dotty
And that's the truth, I solemnly declare.

Chorus:
 
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Performed by May Yohé (1869-1938)
 
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