WHEN FATHER SAID HE'D PAY THE RENT
 
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The 'ouse that we are livin' in, it's never cost a cent,
Although Pa's lived there twenty years, 'e's never paid the rent.
But one day 'e told mother, that he thought it time 'e did,
The shock so upset mother that she fainted with the kids.
The canary fell down off it's perch and murmered, 'Goodbye all!"
The pictures from the nails all slipped and tumbled off the wall.
The fire went out, the boiler burst, the dog refused to bark,
And little Willie tried to eat the railings 'round the park.

Chorus: On the day that father said 'e'd pay the rent,
The servants in disgust, packed up and went.
All the children started cryin' and the tom-cat lay down, dyin',
On the day that father said 'e'd pay the rent.

At last the landlord called, he always did it, 'round our way,
And Papa said, 'I'm glad you came, I'm going to pay, today.'
Then the landlord took a shiver and he turned blue, green and red,
The shock 'ad been so much for 'im, the landlord dropped down dead.
The neighbours all came rushing out and shouted in one breath,
'Your father's silly 'onesty has caused that poor man's death!'
Two men in uniform marched up with Papa in between,
If I live to be a hundred I shall ne'er forget the scene.

Chorus: On the day that father said 'e'd pay the rent,
That night to an asylum 'e was sent,
For 'e's in a room that's padded, on the door these words are added,
'This is the man that said 'e'd pay the rent.'

 
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Written and composed by William Hargreaves 1914
Performed by George Formby Snr. (1877-1921)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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