THE WHISTLING WIFE
 
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You've heard about the latest fad,
That fills us with amaze,
I mean that silly fashion, called
The female whistling craze;
My wife is fairly on the job,
Although it's so absurd,
And all day long to my dismay,
She whistles like a bird.

Chorus: You should hear her whistling,
Drives me mad with her whistling,
She starts it in the evening,
And don't leave off till dawn;
You should hear her whistling,
Different kinds of whistling,
She whistles, 'Yankee Doodle',
And the 'Dead March in Saul!'

She never calls me by my name,
But treats we like a log,
For now she always whistles me,
As if I were a dog;
Last Sunday night we went to church,
And I with shame turned red,
For when the people sang the hymns,
She whistled 'em instead

Chorus:

She's known at all the pubs around,
For she wets her whistle now,
And if I want my meals at home.
It don't come off somehow;
I have to whistle for my grub,
And chirrup for a sip,
And they say we are the loveliest pair,
That ever 'cocked a lip!'

Chorus:

 
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Written by Harry Randall & A.E. Ellis - Composed by Harry Randall - 1898
Performed by Harry Randall (1857 - 1932)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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