WILL A MONKEY CLIMB A TREE?
 
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Whilst walking out the other night, a girl I chanced to meet
A very simple looking lass, as I thought in the street
She had a lovely head of hair, and dark and rolling eye
I asked her if she'd walk with me, and this was her reply,

Chorus: 'Will a moneky climb a tree? Will a fish swim in the sea?
Will a lawyer take his fee? A Jew his money lose?
Will a cab man take his fare? Will a barber cut your hair?
If they say no, then, dear sir, you I will refuse.'

I thought her very witty, so I to her did say
'Will you go to a Music Hall, to pass an hour away
Now, Miss, what do you say to this, your answer yes or no
Just tell me what you really think, and if you'd like to go.'
She said,

Chorus:

I hired a cab, drove to the hall, and paid the man his fare
And when we got inside the hall, saw the chairman to his chair
I shook him by the hand and said, 'What will you have with me
Whiskey hot, or brandy cold, or a glass of soda and B?'
He said,

Chorus:

A waiter then he brought the drinks, which came to one and four
The same time saying, 'Sir, will you require any more?'
I gave him a two-shiulling piece, he looked at me so strange
I then said to the waiter, 'Will you accept the change.'
He exclaimed,

Chorus:

 
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Performed by Will Riley (1845-1897)
 
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