WOT'S THE GOOD OF HANYFINK? WHY? NUFFINK!
 
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This world's a disappointment!
On that score my mind's made up.
The chances is unequal quite—
The few I've 'ad I've weighed up.
An' arter lots of thinkin',
'Ave come to this conclusion-—
That hev'ry-think in life is but
A snare and a delusion.

Chorus: Wot's the good of tryin' to hearn a livin' nowadays?
Wot's the good of honesty when 'umbug only pays?
Wot's the good of slavin' or a-ravin' about savin'—
Wot's the good of hanyfink? Why! Nuffink!

They say wiv my appearance that
I never takes no trouble,
That on my chin there allus is
At least a two day's stubble.
I used ter shave each mornin' when
A razor I could borrer,
But chucked it 'cos it only meant
A scrape again to-morrer!

Chorus: Wot's the good of tryin' to hearn a livin' now-a-days?
Wot's the good of honesty when 'umbug only pays?
Wot's the good of shavin' ? costs a penny—worth while savin'
Wot's the good of hanyfink? Why! Nuffink!

I 'ave thought as I'd marry 'c0s
I'm so domesticated,
But women's sich a funny lot
The sex is over-rated!
Suppose I settled down in life,
I'd 'ave ter find a missus,
Then fancy me a comin' 'ome
Ter bread an' cheese an' kisses!

Chorus: Wot's the good of tryin' to hearn a livin' now-a-days?
Wot's the good of honesty when 'umbug only pays?
Wot's the good of spoonin'? might as well take on balloonin'
Wot's the good of hanyfink? Why! Nuffink!

Now when I goes ter bed at night,
I seldom takes my boots off,
'Cos if I gits a job—at five
I nearly allus scoots off!
An' then I 'as ter 'unt about,
There's sich a job ter find 'em,
An' so I keeps ‘em on, an'pon
My word I never mind 'em!

Chorus: Wot's the good of tryin' to hearn a livin' now-a-days?
Wot's the good of honesty when 'umbug only pays‘?
Wot's the good of messin' about dressin'? 'tain't no blessin'
Wot's the good of hanyfink? Why! Nuffink!

 
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Written and composed by Albert Chevalier & Charles Ingle - 1894
Performed by Albert Chevalier (1861-1923)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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