THE WRESTLING WIFE
 
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We know how happy Adam was with Eve before the fall
And after it we know that he was no account at all
Like Adam, I was happy, too, and used to boss my wife
But since she saw a wrestling match, I'm frightened for my life.

Chorus: My Wife's caught the wrestling craze
Throws me forty different ways
She comes home from a music hall
And stands me on my head
Then does a Graeco-Roman fall
And throws me out of bed
I am nobody at all
Since my wife caught the wrestling craze.


She brings home picture post cards and she hangs them on the wall
Of gentlemen with nothing on worth mentioning at all
But when I bought one that displayed the female form divine
She took it from me with a grip that nearly broke my spine.

Chorus: My Wife's caught the wrestling craze
Throws me forty different ways
Ev'ry saturday she throws
Me down, and on the spot
Shakes the money from my clothes
And pinches all the lot
I am nobody at all
Since my wife caught the wrestling craze.


When I went home the other day I heard a fearful bump
That nearly brought the ceiling down and made me fairly jump
I shouted ,'What's the matter,' and she said, 'Its Mr Hicks
I'm training for a match, and he is teaching me some tricks.'

Chorus: My Wife's caught the wrestling craze
Throws me forty different ways
A peep at home I tried to snatch
But,oh, I got it warm
Because it was a trial match
To ascertain her form
I am nobody at all
Since my wife caught the wrestling craze.


Now, Mary Ann, the slavey is much nearer to my weight
But when she caught me wrestling her she got in such a state
She put an arm-lock on me till she simply made me howl
And punched me on my tender spots although I claimed a foul.

Chorus: My Wife's caught the wrestling craze
Throws me forty different ways
She went and got her mother, too
To act as referee
And you can bet they didn't do
A single thing for me
I am nobody at all
nce my wife caught the wrestling craze.
 
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Performed by Hal Forde (1877-1951)
 
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