YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE RAILS
 
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A lunatic stood inside Coney Hatch rails
And looked on the great world outside
He gazed on the people supposed to be sane
And aside to himself then he sighed
He heard an old sailor say unto his mate
'Though I sail for Boston today,
Our gentleman border my missis will guard
And comfort her while I'm away.'

Chorus: Then poor silly Billy glared out through the bars
And the 'barmy-house' rang with his wails
Said he to the sailor who sailed o'er the foam
'You say for the long trips o'er the sea you've to roam
And you leave your old girl with the lodger at home
You're on the wrong side of the rails.


A policeman came sauntering up to the rails
And said in a voice fit to kill
'I'd much rather be in the 'Force' than in there.'
'One's as bad as the other,' said Bill
But they each found they'd met a congenial soul
And both got familiar somehow
Till the 'slop' said, 'I finish my duty at eight
I wonder what time it is now.'

Chorus: Then poor silly Billy glared out through the bars
And the 'nut factory' rang with his wails
Of Policeman ex one. He began to take stock
Said he, 'On me life, you're a clever old cock
Been nine years a policeman and haven't a clock
You're on the wrong side of the rails.


A dray load of beer came along by the rails
And a strange sight met poor Billy's view
For the red-nosed old man who was driving the dray
Was wearing a ribbon of blue
When Bill saw the ribbon he looked at the man
And he said, 'Do you mind telling me
The meaning of that bit of blue in your coat.'
Said the man, 'It's to show I'm T.T.

Chorus: Then poor silly Billy glared out through the bars
And the 'mind orchard' rang with his wails
Said he, 'you don't drink and quart pots you don't nurse
You work in a brewery and say drinks a curse
You'd best see a doctor before you get worse
You're on the wrong side of the rails.
 
 
 
Performed by Ben Albert (1876-1925)
 
 
 
 
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