YOU DON'T KNOW, THEY DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T KNOW
 
Will Evans
 
I'm going to sing but what shall I sing,
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!
It's got to be funny and be in the swing,
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!
That just reminds me, now say, if you can,
Why is a woman so fond of a man?
Is it because it's a comforting plan?
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!

Here's verse number two and what I've to do,
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!
I have to do something that has to be new,
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!
When this had happened it gave me a fright,
Father ran out in a terrible plight,
Mother had pains in the middle of the night,
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!

Here's verse number three, now what shall it be,?
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!
My sister is fond of, oh dear, let me see,
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!
On her bike she was riding, unkind to refer,
Pacing too fast, this was bound to occur,
The wheel somehow skidded and she fell on her...
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!

Here's verse number four, this one on the war,
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!
Now how will you take it, don't think it's a bore,
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!
Our trouble is ended, we've well paid our debt,
Look at the profit old England will net,
I wonder now what has become of De Wet,
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!

Here's verse number five, does the War Office thrive?
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!
Questions being asked, are they dead or alive,
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!
When they were wanted, they acted so dense,
Knew nothing of fighting and less of defense,
Where is their intelligence, where is their sence,
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!

Here's verse number six, on Chinese tricks,
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!
France, Germany, Russia want it for mix,
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!
If once we start fighting, we'll fight till they fall,
On our brave loyal subjects we always can call,
Can we smash the Empress like we did Oom Paul?
You don't know, they don't know and I don't know!

 
div
 
Performed by Will Evans (1872-1931)
Written and composed by Sam Richards - 1900
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
div
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ