YOU DON'T TAKE A SANDWICH TO A PICNIC
 
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Everything has got its proper place
You will always find that is the case
When you've got sufficient of everything in store
Enough's as good as a feast, and so you don't want more
Too much of anything will spoil your appetite
I'm sure the married men will say I'm right.

Chorus: You don't take a sandwich to a picnic
And you don't take a chicken to a farm
You don't take an apple to an orchard full of trees
You don't take honey to a hive of bumble bees
Oh, you don't take a bloater down to Yarmouth
That's the place you'll find them everywhere
So when you take a holiday where the girls are
Why take the wifie down there.


When some kind friend asks you out to dine
You don't take your oysters or your wine
Newly married couples, when they've been wed a year
Are simply longing to have a little baby dear
But take the couple with a family of ten
It's no use taking any more to them.

Chorus:

Ladies frills and laces are divine
They look lovely hanging on the line
At some ladies stockings a single man will stare
And simply go into raptures at the beauties there
But take the draper's man - would he stand there and grin
And gaze at ladies socks with nothing in?

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by W. David and J. P. Long
Performed by Fred Walmsley (1879-1943)
 
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