YOU ARE YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW YOU ARE.
 
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I'm such a stupid donkey that
No matter what I try,
Instead of doing what is right,
I don't, and look so shy;
There's no mistake about it though,
I loved sweet Widow Carr,
But when I tried to tell her,
I could only say, you are,

Chorus: You are you know, You know you are,
I have no cause to doubt it;
You are you know, You know you are,
There's no mistake about it.

She's such a charming creature,
She is lovely, she's divine,
I loved her, how I loved her,
And I vowed she should be mine;
One day the widow said to me ,
Don't you think,Captain Barr,
That widows are very dangerous,
I said, I think you are,

Chorus:

She has such winning ways you know,
And two such eyes so bright,
They pierce one thro' and thro' you know,
Till it puts one in a fright;
You'd scarcely think it possible,
To frighten Captain Barr,
But you girls are so wicked,
With your eyes, you know you are,

Chorus:

One day I called on Widow Carr,
Intending to propose,
When I saw another fellow there,
With a little turn-up nose;
Frantically I said to him ,
Do you know, I'm Captain Barr,
How dare you, Sir, what do you mean?
You are a - yes, you are.

Spoken - 'What!"he exclaimed, "What am I? I replied, You heard what I said, and I stick to it, in fact, I think you're even worse than that - you are, you...

Chorus:

The Widow cried, 'You stupid man,
Why that's my brother Jack!'
Then threw her arms around my neck,
And gave me such a smack,
When I say a smack, I mean a kiss,
Then I married Widow Carr,
Now she is happy, so am I,
And let me hope you are.

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by J. Sturroch & Arthur Lloyd - 1884
Performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840 - 1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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