One morning in a little tailor's shop I saw displayed
A pair of ladies bloomers, seven and sixpence, ready made
I took my daughter in next day, the fellow got his tape
And murmured as he started putting it around her shape.

Chorus: 'You've got a long way to go, you've got a long way to go
Oh what a terrible lump of stuff
The three-yard measure ain't long enough
She's over ninety-five round her 'Seraglio'
To find a pair of pants to fit her, you've got a long way to go.'

Once on a donkey's back, I tried Dick Turpin's ride to York
When suddenly the moke stopped dead and I got off to walk
'Twas miles out in the country and he wouldn't move for me
I asked a slop where London was, 'Lord luv a duck' said he,

Chorus: 'You've got a long way to go, you've got a long way to go'
He gave the Jerusalem moke a smack
And planted a pin in it's 'Union Jack'
He wouldn't move an inch, the copper said, 'What ho,
You'd better get hold of the donkeys rudder, you've a long way to go'

My wife ain't noted for her looks, her chivvy chase, Oh lor!
It's like a Chinese puzzle or the knocker on the door
The kids all called her 'Monkey Brand' in our localitee
To find out such a specimen of phi-si-og-no-mee.

Chorus: You've got a long way to go, you've got a long way to go
Talk of the girls at the Sandwich Isles
With warts and pimples all round their dials
I've seen some ugly mugs on view at Barnum's show
But to find a face like my old woman's, you've got a long way to go.

One day I saw lady-friend a-marching up the West
With such a godly pious band, in blue and scarlet dressed
She banged upon her tambourine, and shouted to the lot
'We're marching on to Glory' I said 'Marching on to what?'

Chorus: 'You've got a long way to go, you've got a long way to go
It's no use banging your blooming drum
And shouting, 'Sinners, oh won't you come?'
I like to hear you say you're going to Glory, Flo
If you're only as far as Piccadilly, you've a long way to go.'
Written and composed by A.J. Mills & Frank W. Carter - 1898
Performed by Frank Coyne (1875-1906)
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