THE ZOO KEEPER
 
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I'm getting eighteen pence a day as keeper at the Zoo
My occupation is a very dangerous one it's true
I have to feed the lion and the tiger and gazelle
But what's a darn sight harder - I've to fed myself as well
I have to be up early every solitary morn
And milk the ducks and hunt the eggs laid by the Unicorn
I take the gold-fish out for walks, a thing I mustn't shirk
Then when I've got the Zebra's tea, it's time to go to work.

Chorus: At the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo where people come to me
And give me buns and nuts I beg their pardon
But when they poke me with a stick
It's coming it a bit too thick
I let them know I'm not on show but keeper of the garden.


One night I was awakened by a simply awful din
It sounded as if somebody was banging on a tin
I grabbed me whip determined to chastise the noisy imps
I knew the row was being made by those young potted shrimps
I held me life in both me hands but rushed inside the cage
I fairly boiled with passion and I bubbled o'er with rage
When suddenly cold shivers down me back began to creep
I'd stepped into the oyster beds where the lady oyster's sleep.

Chorus: Oh the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo where people come to me
And give me buns and nuts I beg their pardon
But when they hold a stick out flat
And say to me, 'Jump over that.'
I let them know I'm not on show but keeper of the garden.


Now I used to think the elephant a decent sort of bloke
And often ask him in at night to have a chat and smoke
But he began to brag a lot and put on side and sneer
And one night when me back was turned he drank me supper beer
I determined to get even so I stole down to his house
Unlocked the door and crept inside as quiet as a mouse
The elephant was sound asleep snoring as he lay
I soon had my revenge on him, I ate up all his hay.

Chorus: At the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo where people come to me
And give me buns and nuts I beg their pardon
But when they poke me with a stick
It's coming on a bit too thick
I let them know I'm not on show but keeper of the garden.
 
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Performed by Little Tich (1867-1928)
 
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