LOST MONOLOGUE

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LOST MONOLOGUE

Postby JOHN STANLEY » May 1st, 2012, 3:58 pm

HI al I am looking for a musical monolouge that my dad used to recite and sadly I loaned the copy out years ago and I CANNOT REMEMBRER IT ALL
TITLE THE WOMAN HATER START AS FOLLOWS I AS MY LIKES AN DISLIKES LIKE MOST MEN I AIN'T SO FOND OF POLICEMEN TWINS AN ALSO RANS ... BUT MY REAL CAST IRON HATRED IS FOR WIMMIN FROM THEM THAT SPOUTS OR WEARS THIER HAIR CUT SHORT , SENT HERE TO PLAGUE US MEN LIKE RATS AN MICE AN FLIES WHY AS SOON THERE OUT OF CHILDHOOD THEY KNOW TRICKS A BLOOMIN LOAD I'VE SEEN A PIGTAIL FLAPPER A WAKIN DOWN THE LANE SEES A WEALTY LOOKIN CHAP IN VIEW DROPS HER HANKY AN WALKS ON, FOOL COMES BY AN PICKS UP THE WHITE 4 INCH 4 CORNERD THING HANDS IT BACK AN BOWS,THATS START OF LOVIN KISSIN BUTTON HOLES AN ROWS . IF ANY GAL ,I SAY IF ,TRIED THE DROPPED HANKEY TRICK ON ME ,WELL I'D KICK INT ROAD AN LET HER WALK HOME AN SNIFF THEN?????? ENDS WITH SH HERES THE . NOT VERY PC TODAY BUT THIS WAS 60 YEARS AGO
JOHN STANLEY
 
Posts: 2
Joined: May 1st, 2012, 1:20 pm

Re: LOST MONOLOGUE

Postby Paul » May 1st, 2012, 7:54 pm

I'm familiar with the title so I probably have it written down somewhere.
I'm away for a couple of days so I'll have a search when I get back and type it up here for you.
Paul
Site Admin
 
Posts: 58
Joined: January 23rd, 2012, 1:13 am

Re: LOST MONOLOGUE

Postby Paul » May 3rd, 2012, 3:04 pm

Here we are...

THE WOMAN HATER
by
Leonard Pounds

Well, yes sir, I'm admittin' there's a 'eap o' things I 'ates
I ain't in love wi' work, fur instance, closin' time or rates
I ain't perticler fond o' p'licemen, twins or 'also-rans'
Them there dislikes are much the same as any other man's.
But my real, cast-iron 'atred is for wimmin - any sort
From them that 'swanks' to them that 'spouts'
An' wears their 'air cut short.
"Why was wimmin born?" some arsk. I can put 'em wise
They was just sent 'ere to plague us, same as rats an' mice an' flies

Why, afore they're out o' chil'ood they know tricks - a bloomin load
I've watched a pig-tailed flapper when she's strollin' down the road
She'll drop 'er 'ankerchief as soon as some boy comes in view
An' instead o' treadin' on it, as a brainy chap would do
'E picks the two-inch -square thing up, an' 'ands it back, an' bows
An' that's the start o' future kisses, button-'oles, an' rows.
If a gal tried that dropped 'anky trick on me - I'm sayin' if
Why, I'd boot it in the road, an' let the gal walk 'ome an' sniff

If that 'ankerchief could speak, 'twould say "Now look 'ere Gert, or Con,
I'm fed up with bein' chucked about, so tie me on
That's 'ow a woman starts! She does this when she'd seventeen
When she's only just a cog-wheel in the Artfulness Machine
Deceitfulness, that's Woamn When the curate comes to tea
She'll say she's got no appetite - it ain't the thing, yer see
But when the feller's 'opped it, why she'll run an' change 'er frock
Then she'll wolf three pounds o' solids in ten minutes by the clock

'Ypocrisy, that's Woman. Yes, she's boss in that all right
A baby's born next door, an' in she'll pop to see the mite
"Oh, asn't it the sweetest nose" you'll 'ear 'er bawl
While all the time she can't see if it's got a nose at all
She'll say it's got its father's eyes or mother's anything
She'll declare its little profile's like Lord Nelson or the King.
Two days go by. The neighbours quarrel - such rows never cease
An' then she'll swear the kid's the living image of Charles Peace.

They're 'ypocrites in kissin', too - they'll kiss a man all right
But see 'em kiss each other - why it's very near a bite
Vexatiousness, that's Woman! My wife's mother came to stay
An' falls 'ead-first down stairs before she'd been with us a day
But wot annoyed me was, a jar o' beer was on the top
An' she fetches down with 'er when she does 'er bloomin' flop.
My wife yells, "Go an' fetch a doctor" Fetch a doctor! Bah
Does any doctor know the way ter mend a gallon jar?

Assertiveness, that's Woman! An' it makes my 'eart fair ache
Ter see some married fellers at their wives' voice shake and quake
I'm master in my 'ome, I am. My wife daren't disagree
I rules the missis stern-like, with a rod of iron - that's me
I 'ates wimmin... Wimmin, sir, the sweetest things in life
Yes, man's best friend is Woman, sir! Good-night. Shhh! 'ere's my wife!
Paul
Site Admin
 
Posts: 58
Joined: January 23rd, 2012, 1:13 am

Re: LOST MONOLOGUE

Postby JOHN STANLEY » May 6th, 2012, 10:57 am

tHANKS VERY MUCH i HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR A LONG TIME FOR THIS MEMORY OF MY FATHER YOU HAVE MADE MY DAY JON
JOHN STANLEY
 
Posts: 2
Joined: May 1st, 2012, 1:20 pm


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