Stanley C. West and Marjorie Broughton (1923)
 I'm just a simple scull'ry maid, I'm wot they call, 'no class'
And beauty ain't my portion if yer trusts a lookin'-glass
But thanks to what the missus calls a strong imagination
I kids me'self I'm 'eavenly, and 'eaps above me station

And often on a winter's night, when I 'ave done me job
I sits and builds my castles up before the kitchen 'ob
Sometimes I am a Countess or a Princess tall and sweet
And quite forgits the beetles 'formin' fours' around me feet

I close my h'eyes and see's meself wif lovely orbin 'air
And vi'lit h'eyes and pearly teeth, and dimonds ev'rywhere
I rides in Rotten Row sometimes and knocks the Johnnies silly
I once 'ad ten lootenants round me car in Piccadilly

I 'as me yacht out sometimes and around the world I sails
Me fav'rit guest on them occasions is the Prince of Wales
'Is 'Ighness was proposing once, "Yes! Teddy dear," I said
Then Cook burst in the kitchen, and cries "Emma - orf to bed!"

I dreams a bit when I'm at work, and then it ain't no joke
You'd be surprised if you could see the plates and things I've broke
It's 'ard to think your lover is a Colonel in the Navy
While splashing to your armpits in cold tea and last night's gravy

Sometimes at the theayter in the gallery I gets
And kids meself I'm in a box, with di'mond lorganets
I tries to think it's Dukes and Dukesses as round me sit
It spoils it tho' to see your Duke spit pips into the pit

'Ere shall I tell yer? Yus I will, when Nurse 'ad got a cold
She give me once our Missus's new baby for to 'old
I rocked it till it slep' and then I sit as still as death
I reckon for an 'alf-an-hour I never drawed a breath

And Gawd knows what me dreams was while I 'ad that child to 'old
'E knows it wasn't motor-cars not coronets of gold
And when Nurse took that baby off - it wasn't mine to keep
I give up kiddin' for that night, and 'owled meself ter sleep.  
The end