Bernard Newman (1929)
Half a yard, half a yard, half a yard onward
Out of the 'Rose And Crown' all the six blundered
'Forward the Tight Brigade' 'Time please,' the barman said
Would they awake the town? All the police wondered.
'Forward the Tight Brigade,' was there a man dismayed?
No, though each toper knew his footsteps blundered
No use to make reply to landlord’s parting cry
Their’s but to walk or try, but into the gutter there
All the six blundered.
Lampposts to right of them, lampposts to left of them
Lampposts in front of them wobbled and sundered
Scared by a tramcar bell, boldly they walked till, well
They met a motor-bus, then down again they fell
While the bus thundered.
Flashed all their arms in air, gripping the railings there
While passers turned to stare, all the world wondered
Who can their story tell? when they let go they fell
And as for language, well, someone had blundered.
Up came a foolish chap, talked of the evil tap
Wicked horses, sinful nap, oh, how he blundered
Wished he’d kept quiet, instead, as he got a knock on the head
And wished that he were dead, shattered and sundered.
Then turned the six and ran, that’s where the fun began
Spirals made every man, as onward they blundered
Policemen to right of them, policemen to left of them
Policemen in front of them, rushed up and wondered.
Took them to prison cell, they who had tried so well
Picked them up as they fell, as they all blundered
Next day, in Court displayed, oh, the wild charge they made
'D and D', and twenty-one days, and then they wondered.