T. Cressey (The Forge Poet) Ah'd like to tell yer nah abaht a chap called Esau Farrar, An' ah 'e wan a bet at Kirkstall once nbaht a barrer: Fowk said 'e'd gor a slate off, but ah nivver knew one smarter; At clickin' pints o' slippy ale dahn theer at 'Star an' Garter'. Ah mind me nah, one Kir'stall feast; for Esau things were dull, 'Is pot wor ommost empty like, an' 'e wor nowt near full. 'E scrat 'is 'eaad, 'e luked arahnd, an' then 'e spied Big Jim. A 'appy smile spread ower 'is face, a thowt ed strucken 'im. Nah Big Jim wor a 'ammerman, an' gat big brass at t' Forge, This 'appened monny a year sin' mind, afore we paid Lloyd George. Nah Jim wor tall, an' Jim wor broad, an' Jim wor varry fat, So fat 'e cuddn't lace 'is booits, his wife, shoo saw to that Ah've seen 'im drop a bob on t' floor, er mebbe awf a craahn, An' cud 'e 'eck es pick 'em up cos t' floor wor too low daahn. Well, Esau started kiddin' 'im, an' said 'is wind wor gone, An' Jim, 'e set an' glared like ow-t, but Esau he went on: 'Ah'll tell tha what ah'll dew wi' thee, ah'll bet tha just a gill Tha cuddn't wheel a barter up to t' top o' Kirkstall 'ill.' Nah Jim wor gerrin red in t' face, said 'e, 'Ah'll bet a quid To awf a pint o' beer o' thine,' an' sewer eniff 'e did. 'It's got to 'ev nowt in tha knows,' said Jim to Esau Farrar, ' All reight ' said Esau, ' thee bide 'ere, ah'll go an' fotch a barrer.' So Esau nipped round into t' Feeast, an' into t' Toy Bazaar, An' bowt a barrer six inch long wal Jim wor carr'd in t' bar. 'E shoved it in 'is pocket an' 'e went back into t' snug, An' 'e went across to t' landlord, an' 'e whispered in 'is lug, So t' landlord said, ' Ahm oddin t' stakes,' Jim 'anded ower 'is pund, An' Esau pulled 'is barrer aht an' put it dahn on t' grund ; 'Nah off tha goes Jim, don't forget, an' keep thi wheel on t' floor;' But Jim 'e faded clean away an' nivver spok no more.
The end