EDWARD AND THE LIONESS
by Anonymous In t' houses of Parliament at London There's lately been rather a do That ended with loss of a Kingdom And folks losin' King Edward too. It started wi' yon Mrs. Simpson A yankee lass, twice before wed, She came t' live up in London And then set her 'eart on King Ted. Now King was reet fond o' nice lasses And Wallis soon collared his eye... One night when they met at a night club, Were Edward was drinkin on t' sly. Well t' King were fairly bowled over And said she were nicest he'd seen "And if I can get rid of your husband Dang me if I don't make you Queen." "Ok baby!" says Mrs. Simpson And applied right away for divorce Said her husband, "Aye, Ted, you're reet welcome, I'd as soon 'ave a dog or an 'orse." Now t' King knew there'd be spot o' bother When he said that he wanted to wed So he sent for their Albert, his brother, To see if he'd reign in his stead. Well Albert were capped when he 'eard it He thought that he'd never be King So he said, "Me an Liz'll think it over..." An tomorrow I'll give thee a ring." Well, King sent for owld Stanley Baldwin To go round at once without fail An he told him about Mrs. Simpson Said Stan, "Well I'm blast, what a tale! "Tha could almost fell me wi' a feather Nay Teddy thah should 'ave more sense For t' country will play 'ell for leather, Tha crown won't be worth eighteen pence!" But Edward said he'd made his mind up And he'd wed Mrs. Simpson come what "And if thee an thah pals don't like it I'll give up me throne on the spot!" Said Stanley, "I'll go'n see thy mother, I'm sure she'd sooner see thee dead As wed to the wife of another Not fit to be t' Queen of King Ted. But talk as he would, it didn't matter King wouldn't hear reason at all So wi'out any further chatter He fetched up his cards from Whitehall. The King sent along for is' brother To go up to Fort Belvedere His sister t' Princess an is' mother T'were a right family gathering theer'. Just after they'd finished their supper, (A fish an a pennath all round), King then signed his abdication T'were the end of King Teddy uncrowned. T'owd Queen right upset said "Nay Teddy, I 'ope tha's not made a mistake!" But King only laughed and got ready His trip to Vienna to make. He took off his crown an' his jewels, An' shoved em on their Alberts 'ead, Saying God save't King an God Bless 'im, An that were the end of King Ted. And finally he turned round to Baldwin An' said, "To show I've still got guts", You can keep crown an sceptre... and castle an' all And shove 'em where monkey shoved nuts.
The end