Childhood
        
SO I TOOK OFF ME HAT
by Max Wall I never stay where I'm not wanted, I know just the moment to go. For instance, last sunday I went to the country, To visit some people I know. When I got there, they were out, I'm afraid, But they'd left their house in the care of a maid. So I took off me hat and I took off me coat, And I took off my gloves and went in. The maid was quite pretty and seemingly witty, We flirted and finished the gin. She must have thought I was a surgeon, no doubt, 'Cos' all of a sudden she started to shout, "You've gone far enough, cut it out! cut it out!" So I put on me hat and I put on me coat, And I put on me gloves and went home. I once took some lessons in boxing, I thought it an excellent wheeze. Then, I made a short list of all the big fellers, I thought I would beat up with ease. The first on the list was the bully, next door, I just couldn't wait to punch him on the jaw. So I took off me hat and I took off me coat, And I took off my gloves and went in. I showed him the list and I held up my fist, And said, "How'd yer like this on yer chin?" I'll break you in pieces!" he started to shout, "I'll bust in yer wind-pipe, I'll pull out yer snout!" So I put on me hat and I put on me coat, And I put on me gloves and went home.
The end