(A parody of 'The Deck of Cards')
as narrated by
David Frost

One day, some soldier boys were returning from an exercise on Sal-is-bury Plain.
They were tired and hungry and so they went into a church to pray.
Each soldier boy had a prayer book and a bible... but one boy, he had no prayer book and no bible, he had only... a cricket bag!

After the service, the Sergeant called him over and said, 'Son, why were you playing cricket in church... what have you got to say for yourself?'
'Much Sir!' replied the soldier boy.
'I hope so,' said the Sergeant 'for if not, you will surely be punished more than any soldier boy has ever been punished before you... even more than that soldier boy we caught lying about playing cards in church, last week!'

So, the soldier began...

'You see, Sir, when I look at the cricket ball... I think of God's Earth, spinning in the firmament.

When I look at the two umpires, I think of those other two umpires at York and Cantebury... there's no throwing there!

And when I look at the three cricket stumps... I think of the three virtues or of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego!

And when I look at the four bails... I think of the Gaderene swine... or at least, four of them!

And when I look at the six balls in an over, I remember that is just half the number of the disciples!

And when I look at the eight balls in an Australian over... I remember that is just two thirds the number of disciples!

And when I look at the eleven men in a team... I think of the 'Ten Commandments'... plus one!

So you see, Sir, my cricket bag serves me as my Bible, my prayer book and my... cricket bag.'

And friends, this story is true!
I know... I was that cricket bag!
The end