(who looks like Charlie Chaplin) by Tommy Handley Now we've seen a lot of pictures of the people in the news, And we've got to know a lot of them, by sight. Chamberlain, with his umberella... Winston Churchill with his hats Or Belitia, well we know him , all right. But there's one who's lovely photograph we've seen for years and years And we ask ourselves this question every time his face appears... Who is this man who looks like Charlie Chaplin? What makes him think that he can win a war? It can't be the mouchache... that only makes us laugh And Charlie's done it better... and before. If it wasn't for the boots and cane and trousers, You couldn't tell the two of them apart But the whole idea's absurd Charlie's never said a word And Adolf couldn't play a silent part. Imagine Adolf starring in 'The Gold Rush' He hasn't got a half of Charlie's charms But he gives a lot of troubles... to his film director, Goebbels When he plays the leading part in 'Shoulder Arms' He's amusing when he tries to play the villain It's bound to get a laugh in every clime I believe it's all a fake-up And despite all of the make-up We're convinced it's Charlie Chaplin... all the time. Supposing Charlie Chaplin got the fever A war would be a comedy pro tem Imagine Adolf getting skittish... signing pacts with 'Gaumont British' And dropping custard pies on 'MGM' Charlie Chaplin would be louder, bigger, funnier With him in charge the battles would be fun And the chief of his gestapo wouldn't be Karl Marx... but Harpo And he'd soon have Shirley Temple on the run. If Adolf was in business, he'd try sob-stuff East Lym would be the story from the start Little Eva, played by Göring would be a trifle boring I'd sooner see Charles Laughton in the part. But don't let us be too hard on poor old Adolf He's a Godsend to the comics, he's sublime Cartoonists love his make-up... but one morning we shall wake up And find it's Charlie Chaplin all the time!
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