THE THING-UMMY-BOB
by Thompson, Heneker (1942) Performed by Gracie Fields You've heard of Florence Nightingale, Grace Darling and the rest, You've all seen Greta Garbo and her busom friend, Mae West, But there's a little lady, I want you all to meet, She's working on munitions and she lives just down the street. She can't pretend to be, a great celebrity but still... She's most important in her way, The job she has to do, may not seem like much to you But all the same, I'm very proud to say... She's the girl that makes the thing That drills the hole That holds the spring That drives the rod That turns the knob That works the thing-ummy-bob. She's the girl that makes the thing That holds the oil That oils the ring That takes the shank That moves the crank That works the thing-ummy-bob. It's a ticklish sort of job making a thing for a thing-ummy-bob, Especially when you don't know what it's for. But it's the girl that makes the thing That drills the hole that holds the spring That works the thing-ummy-bob That makes the engines roar. And it's the girl that makes the thing That holds the oil That oils the ring That works the thing-ummy-bob That's going to win the war. She's not what you would call, a heroine, at all I don't suppose you'll even know her name And though she'll never boast, of her important post She strikes a blow for Britain just the same. She's the girl that makes the thing That drills the hole That holds the spring That drives the rod That turns the knob That works the thing-ummy-bob. She's the girl that makes the thing That holds the oil That oils the ring That takes the shank That moves the crank That works the thing-ummy-bob. It's a ticklish sort of job making a thing for a thing-ummy-bob, Especially when you don't know what it's for. But it's the girl that makes the thing That drills the hole That holds the spring That works the thing-ummy-bob That makes the engines roar. And it's the girl that makes the thing That holds the oil That oils the ring That works the thing-ummy-bob That's going to win the war.
The end