by George Robey ( 1869 – 1954 ) The day Brown got married, he did look upset, He was bubbly with anticipation Which later he found to his bitter regret Was better than realisation As he sat in the train on his honeymoon tour The blushing bride said, coy and demure 'Oh that kind guard has labelled the carriage 'engaged' Did he get that idea all alone?' And Brown said 'Yes, and what more, I've just locked the door That's a little idea of my own.' Soon after his wedding brown has to leave home For the usual business reason It's hard lines when newly wed men have to roam Soon after the honeymoon season And the doctor next door was a bit of a lad Once Brown saw that the doctor's eye on his wife had clad So Brown bought her some apples, a large basketful On the morning he left her alone For an apple a day keeps the doctor away And that was a little idea of his own. A young friend of mine, a keen business type He's just got a new secretary She does all his typing, it seems a good plan To leave all the details to Mary I chanced to pop into his office today And I said, among other things, 'oh by the way I like your new typist, she's young and she's cute And speaks very well on the phone Who engaged her? Your wife?' He said 'Not on your life She's a little idea of my own.' My neighbour's house-proud and the things that he's got Were presented as gifts at the wedding I called in one day and he showed me the lot From the drawing room chairs to the bedding He said 'Everything here comes from friends, my dear lad' At that moment a voice from the corner said 'Dad' So I said 'Lucky you. Did they give you that too?' He replied in a rather stern tone 'That's our baby, young Steve, and I'm led to believe He's a little idea of my own.' A sergeant was drilling his men in the square And his language was simply delightful He shouted, 'halt what's, not the why's, or the which And then with a snarl which was frightful He gave a sharp order, 'Fall out number three! For the love of King Cole what are you meant to be? Why, just look at your shoes, they're women's size twos You're reeking of Eau de Cologne Did they issue those here?' He said 'No Sergeant Dear They're a little idea of my own!'
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