LIMERICKS - 6
When Nelly Gwyn fainted one day King Charles picked her up in dismay But Mary of Modina Said, "Do stop prodina There's a new Royal Duke on the way." divider There was a young lady called Melanie Whose affairs were a thorough miscellany Certain tales of her talents Put people off balance So I don't think I really should tell any. divider A gramophone buff from Djakarta Was, in love, an extremely slow starter Because, it would seem That he worked to the theme Of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. divider A young ballet dancer named Francis Does spectacular splits when she dances Not a kind of an antic I think is romantic In fact, it endangers her chances. divider The ladies who come from Antigua Have a really remarkable figua The girls from St Kitts Are much better developed But it doesn't depend on how bigua. divider Prince Albert, though no politician Had a sense of industrial mission Once a girl did a curtsey Leaving so much of her to see He invented the Great Exhibition. divider In Florence a tourist from Como Chased a begger man all round the Duomo He said, "For a tumble Be it ever so humble There really is no place like homo". divider There was a young lady from Kansas Who thought that she knew all the answers Till a young man from Delaware Took her into the cellar where There was room to develop his chances. divider A worried school teacher named Potts Said, "I've failed to convince tiny tots Again and again That division by ten Means just moving those damn little dots." divider A computer designer from Crewe Used to progarm his girl friend to woo Her D.P. And I.O. Were inclined to be slow But she had a superb CPU. divider I aim to deny that Italians Are a nation of thieving rapscallions But perhaps I should own They're exceedingly prone To salami, Chanti and dalliance. divider There was a young man from Toronto Who was half of a horse in a panto He said, "I'm behind But I don't really mind I can sit down whenever I want to. divider An inveterate sinner named Murray Remarked, "I'm beginning to worry I know I'm depraved And I want to be saved But please, Lord, I'm not in a hurry." divider King Arthur said, "Look at this tale On page one of the Lyonesse Mail About you and Sir Lancelot Liking to dance a lot Are you quite sure he's seeking the Grail?" divider There was a young lady of Delos Who purposely put on ten kilos She said, "I've in mind A much larger behind To improve on the Venus de Milo's." divider There was a young fellow from Lyons Who chose a large lamppost to pyons A lady from Brest Said, "I'm very impressed Could you tell me which evenings you're freeons?" divider On a maiden a man once begat Bouncing triplets named Nat, Tatt and Pat ‘Twas fun in the breeding But hell in the feeding She hadn’t a spare tit for Tatt. divider To a fancy dress ball at Nathalia Went a girl in the guise of a dahlia Her petals fell off Causing women to scoff But the men didn’t think her a failure. divider An eccentric old pearler of Broome Kept a young female ape in his room “She reminds me, “he said “Of a woman who’s dead.” But he wouldn’t say why, how, or whom. divider There was a young lady from Tottenham Who'd no manners, or else she'd forgottenham While at tea at the vicars She took off her knickers Because, she explained, she felt 'ottenham divider A girl from the French town Verdun Flattened her boyfriend in fun Saying, "Don't worry kid, That's for nothing you did It's for something I dreamt that you'd done."
divider