BLACK PUDDIN'S
by Mike Dempsey Now Sam 'ad a passion for 'Black Puddin's' Munchin' 'em near every day, He'd munch one wi' 'is cornflakes and one wi' 'is lunch And two more at four, wi' 'is tay. Just imagine 'is grief and frustration When 'e read in t'Express o' th'intent Of the 'European Economic Community' To ban 'em from sale... t'story went! 'E decided as 'ow it weren't proper That these men in striped suits and black shoes Could tell 'im what to eat for 'is breakfast So 'e'd fight 'em... he'd nothin' to lose. 'E wrote to 'is Member of Parliament And 'e waited... but got no reply So 'e took 'imself off to London And 'e wore 'is best suit an' a tie. Sam walked past t'policeman at t'Commons Who just nodded at Sam in a trance T'bobby thought 'e were t'member for Rochdale They looked so much alike at first glance. Sam walked an' 'e walked, turning left and then right For an hour... or possibly more Whereupon 'earing a rowdy commotion 'E stopped and pushed open a door. Sam strolled into t'chamber amid all the noise And sat down on a green leather seat T' commotion got louder and louder As t' Prime Minister got to 'is feet. "The state of t' economy's nowt like as bad As them opposite's wishin' to make it And if t' member for Finchley shouts 'Resign!' one more time Her advice, well... I think I might take it!" Sam soon 'ad enough o' these rantings And t' arguments going round and around So 'e got to 'is feet and 'e started to speak But Speaker told Sam to sit down. "The blood and the guts of this once proud nation Are under attack... if you'll pardon the pun From those foreigners sproutin' in Brussels..." Sam said "And I'll not sit down 'til I've done. "They're threatenin' to cut off me' puddin's Or at least they're wantin' 'em banned But I can't safeguard t' puddin's all on me own I'll need you lot to give me an 'and. The honourable member for Aylesbury Stood up and took rupturous applause Showing 'is support for the 'ouse as 'e spoke up For Sam's most commendable cause. One by one they all gave their opinions Each one o' them speaking in turn And the general concensus o' opinion were That there'd been a general lack o' concern. So, the P.M. thanked Sam an' promised as 'ow 'E'd soon set things right wi' t' E.C. An' 'e'd tell all those Frenchies in Brussels To 'Black Puddin's'... they'd better say Oui...!!! So Sam bid farewell to London And t' P.M. said, "Now Sam, don't thee fret, And next time you're down here, pop in for a cuppa." Sam said as 'e wouldn't forget. And will there be 'Black Puddin's' still for tea?" questioned Sam Givin' Prime Minister a smile at the door "There certainly will be..." said t' P.M. wi' a grin "There'll be 'Black Puddin's for evermore!!
The end