Railway Tales

  
YOUNG ALBERT
by Anonymous At Buckingham Palace, in London, Where King and his Missus hang out, Young Albert the Engineer went for a do. There was champagne and oysters and stout. Now Albert, he was a hero, And many a brave deed had done; With his stick with the horse's head handle, The Battle of Dunkirk he'd won. The ship which bore Albert to glory Was His Majesty's trawler, Lord Grey, And over the ocean he steamed in her A-knocking and pulsing her way. And sometimes the engines would falter And steamboat would stop with a bump But with horse's head handle he'd fix it And muck up the leave, like a chump. When Winston got wind of his actions At Zeebrugge, Dunkirk and Bordeaux, He asked that t'King, as a favour, A medal on Albert bestow. When the King saw young Albert at Palace, To the Queen he turned round and said: `Lass, Yon must be young Albert what's winning t'war, Put the lad some champagne in a glass.' As the King was the medal about to bestow With gesture both noble and great, Young Albert, with stick held tight in his hand, Said, `Thanks King. Meet Murdo the mate.' As Mate told t'King the full story Of how Albert was winning the war, Young Albert was winking at Lady Ramsbottom, What he'd met at t'King's Head before. On Albert's chest dangles a medal All shiny and gradely and new Which he wears on his suit with gold badges From Fleming's at two pounds two. And now when he visits the King's Head, Where once he'd partake of a stout, He gets Guinness and potted meat sandwiches And pasties and trotters for nowt.
The end