ALBERT GOES TO A RAVE
by Rory Motion There's a famous hippy festival called Glastonbury Noted for fresh air and fun, And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom Went there with young Albert, their son. A grand little punk was young Albert All dressed in his best quite a swell, He had some skunk that he couldn't quite handle The finest the dealers could sell. He didn't think much to the Craft field The crowds was all fiddling and small, They were relaxed and mellow and grounded In fact nothing to freak out at at all. So seeking further amusement He took an E and went to a rave, Where everyone sweated profusely And said 'wicked' and 'sorted' and 'safe. There was one great big DJ called Wallace Who played Techno and Jungle and Rap And everyone thought it was groovy, Except Albert who thought it was crap. So straight way brave little fella Not showing a morsel of fear, Toked on the Skunk he couldn't quite handle and shouted in Wallace's ear. My name is Albert Ramsbottom And I'm just down for the day, I was wondering if you could play some Temptations Four Tops or Marvin Gaye. You could see the DJ didn't like the idea For giving a kind of a grin, He put on some ultra hard Techno Jungle Which did the little lad in. Now Pa who had seen the occurrence And didn't know what to do next, Said Ma, yon DJ's freaked out our Albert And Ma said Eee I am vexed. Then Mr. & Mrs. Ramsbottom Quite rightly when all's said and done, Complained to the rave organiser That the DJ had freaked out their son. Now Ma had turned a bit awkward When she thought how her son's mind had gone, She said someone's got to be summoned So that were decided upon. So off they went to the Healing Field Where the wise woman was hanging about, And they explained what had happened to Albert About the DJ and freaking him out. The wise woman gave her opinion That the Techno was really to blame, What with the E and the skunk he had had It had scrambled the little lads brain. So she gave him a joint of her homegrown She made him lie down in a field, And she put on a Van Morrison tape And soon young Albert was healed. At that Ma got proper grateful And thank you Miss kindly said she, Then she had a quick toke on the homegrown And they all went off home for their tea.
The end