ALBERT GOES TO WESTON-SUPER-MARE
by Graffiti Poet There's a famous seaside place called Weston that is noted the most for it's mud, where the Ramsbottoms took their son Albert 'cause a change from t'Blackpool was good. As the train pulled up into the station Albert asked Dad, 'What's t'do', Dad said everythings same as in Blackpool except for the tower and zoo. Mother said she were right glad to hear it because animals were dangerous when near, like that lion as had once eaten Albert when he poked a big stick in it's ear. They took up some lodgings on seafront and though Albert were anxious t' play, Dad first had to settle the tally t'were a tenner, per person, per day. Their room had a view of the ocean but all they could see was the mud, and the pier they had heard which had burnt down well at least all the bits that were wood. Ma had read how a fire in a chip pan had sent the old pier up in smoke, Dad hoped the new one, was free to get on as he didn't want ending up broke. On the way to the beach they went shopping in Woollies they gave Albert a pound for a bucket and spade with an 'andle and a postcard o' pier burnin' down. Dad suggested they go on the big wheel 'It's the best view of pier we will get', Mother looked up and then added aye, 'appen we will, but not yet. Mother and Father hired deck-chairs for kipping whilst young Albert played. Albert asked a ride on the Donkeys and father reluctantly paid. Dad tied up some knots in his hankie rolled up his pants to his shin, 'I'll just take a dip in t'water, he said then go t' the pier and go in.' The sun and the sea air worked wonders soon Mother and Dad were asleep, but Albert still keen t' see pier set off on his own for a peep. The entrance was just like the old one selling donuts and portions of chips, Albert's walk to the end was a long one but he hoped to see Mermaids and ships. When Albert went in out the sunshine his eyes took a while to adjust, to the lights by the million sparkling and the sound of the bank being bust. He saw fountains of Gold and of Silver fortunes being won and then lost, Albert wanted to go on all of the rides but Dad would go mad at the cost. From inside the Ghost Train came screaming and though Albert's a brave little lad, he decided he'd wait for his parents then go on that ride with his Dad. The dodgems and race cars were zooming round a track that went up in the air, Albert thought when me Father awakens I'll get him to take me on there. Albert jumped when a voice from behind him said 'There you are Albert me lad, you can't wander off, in case you get lost' Albert turned round, it was Dad. 'Your Mother's been wondering were you are I told her you might be on here, before we go back, let's see Captain Jack and 'appen I'll have a quick beer'. A pirate stood guard at the entrance Dad said it were Blackbeard he thowt, he bought a large beer, clipped Albert round ear and for wandering off he got nowt. In the bar, on a perch in the corner was a parrot with feathers of green, there was nothing it's like back in Bacup t'was the strangest bird Albert had seen. Whilst Father sat drinking his beer and chattin to someone from Stoke, Albert went up to the Parrot and was proper surprised when it spoke. 'Well shiver me timbers, bat bat my eyes, young Albert Ramsbottom how nice a surprise. My name's Pollyanna I too speak in rhyme, I'm so pleased to meet you the pleasure is mine.' Now Albert was mightily flummoxed and could only say, 'How do you do? I'm Albert what's famous for lions as was eaten one time at the zoo'. 'My Dad's over there and he'll tell you a rhyme of the time I near died, when he took me to visit a lion and I ended up in it's inside. Albert went back to see Father said 'that parrot over there, it can talk'. Dad said that's absurd, it's only a bird and all they can do is to squawk. Albert knew that he hadn't been dreaming he swore he'd come back every year, for the chance to speak rhyme with a Parrot who lives on the worlds greatest pier.
The end