OH, I WISH I'D LOOKED AFTER MY TEETH
by Pam Ayres Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth, And spotted the perils beneath, All the toffees I chewed, And the sweet sticky food, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth. I wish I'd been that much more willin' When I had more tooth there than fillin' To pass up gobstoppers, From respect to me choppers And to buy something else with me shillin'. When I think of the lollies I licked, And the liquorice allsorts I picked, Sherbet dabs, big and little, All that hard peanut brittle, My conscience gets horribly pricked. My Mother, she told me no end, "If you got a tooth, you got a friend" I was young then, and careless, My toothbrush was hairless, I never had much time to spend. Oh I showed them the toothpaste all right, I flashed it about late at night, But up-and-down brushin' And pokin' and fussin' Didn't seem worth the time... I could bite! If I'd known I was paving the way, To cavities, caps and decay, The murder of fiIlin's Injections and drillin's I'd have thrown all me sherbet away. So I lay in the old dentist's chair, And I gaze up his nose in despair, And his drill it do whine, In these molars of mine, "Two amalgum," he'll say, "for in there." How I laughed at my Mother's false teeth, As they foamed in the waters beneath, But now comes the reckonin' It's me they are beckonin' Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.
The end