Railway Tales
OFF THE RAILTRACK
by Mal Brown There’s work to be had on the railways, On trains, on the track and the station. The pay’s not as good As maybe it should. That’s due to privatisation. A youth went for work on the signals And got to the interview stage. He was down in the gob And would do any job Despite the conditions or wage. “What would you do?” said the boss man, “If two trains were due for collision? What steps would you take If lives were at stake And yours was the final decision? “I’d press,” said the youth, “these two buttons, And set both the signals to halt.” The boss said: “Would you? But what would you do If both of the lights were at fault?” I’d pull,” said the youth, “this here lever, Thus changing the points for one train.” “What course would you take If the lever should break And simply snap off with the strain?” “I’d go,” said the youth, “to the tool box And take the crowbar from its stand, And maybe a jack, Then I’d run up the track, And change the points over by hand.” “What would you do,” said the boss man, “If they were locked solid with rust, Or frozen together In icy cold weather, Or maybe the crowbar had bust?” “I’d go up the road for my uncle And bring him back here in a flash.” “Why?” said the boss. The youth said: “Because He’s never yet seen a train crash.”
The end