ALBERT'S REUNION
by Stanley Holloway You've 'eard of young Albert Ramsbottom, And Mrs. Ramsbottom, and Dad And the trouble the poor lion went through Trying to stomach the lad. Well, after the lion disgorged him Quite many a day 'ad gone by But the lion just sat there and brooded With a far away look in his eye. The keepers could do nowt wi' lion He seemed to be suffering pain. He seemed to be fretting for something And the curl all went out of his mane. It looked at its food and ignored it Just gazed far away into space. When keepers tried forcible feeding They got it all back in their face! And at Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom's The same kind of thing had begun And though they tried all sorts of measures They couldn't rouse Albert, their son. Now Mr. Ramsbottom got fed up At trying to please him in vain. And said, "If you don't start to buck up I'll take you to lion again!" Now instead of the lad getting frightened And starting to quake at the knees, He seemed to be highly delighted And shouted, "Oh Dad! If you Please!" His father thought he had gone potty. His mother went nearly insane. But Albert stood firm, and just bellowed, "I want to see lion again!" So Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom Decided the best thing to do Was to give way to Albert, and take him Straight-a-way back to the Zoo. The moment the lion saw Albert For the first time for weeks it had stirred It moved the left side of its whiskers Then lay on its back and just purred. And before anybody could stop him Young Albert were stroking his paws. And whilst the crowd screamed for the keepers The little lad opened its jaws. The crowd were completely dumfounded His mother was out, to the wide, But they knew, by the bumps and the bulges That Albert was once more inside. Then all of sudden, the lion Stood up and let out a roar And Albert, all smiling and happy, Came out, with a thud, on the floor. The crowd, by this time, were all cheering And Albert stood there looking grand With the stick with the horses-head handle Clutched in his chubby young hand. The lion grew so fond of Albert, It couldn't be parted from lad. And so zoological keepers Sent round a note to his Dad: We regret to say lion is worried And pining for your little man So sending you lion tomorrow Arriving in plain covered van. And if you should go 'round any evening When Albert has gone off to rest There's the lion, all tucked up beside him Asleep, with 'is 'ead on his chest.
The end