by Carolyn D. Tyson All I want for Christmas Is a bit of peace and quiet I don't want tips on hairstyles Or on little black dress diet's Or how to stuff a turkey With some chestnut puree stuff There's one whole month to go yet And I've blumming had enough And then there's all the shopping Traipsing round the decked out mall's And Frosty Flipping Snowman playing Drives me up the wall's The kid's all throwing tantrums Mum's just let them run about If I was Father Christmas Rest assured, they'd all get nowt!! All I want for Christmas Is some turkey for me dinner Throw in some sprout's and taties And to me you've got a winner But Deliah keeps cropping up In every flipping place The newspaper, the telly When I sleep, I see her face She stuff's a turkey with a goose In that, she stuffs a pheasant Meanwhile "This Morning" shows me how And when to wrap my presents And Deliah keeps harping on 'Bout how to glaze me carrots I'm quite surprised we've not been taught To marinate a parrot!! All I want for Christmas Are some memories of old When snowflakes fluttered silently In frosty sky's so cold When Santa's sleigh flew past the moon Amongst the stars so bright And Sis' and I could hear his bells As he came Christmas night The smell of coffee on the stove Log's crackling in the grate And waking up at 5 am When no more could we wait And racing down in dressing gown's To present's round the tree And shrieking with unbridled joy "Get up Dad, quick he's been" All I want for Christmas Is to be that child again Re-kindle all my childhood dreams If any should remain But all I get is Deliah She's making cranberry jelly And promises of old repeats To watch on Christmas telly Give me back my Christmas With traditions I remember Don't overload me with that stuff From half-way through September Give the kid's a Christmas Of the kind that you can't buy And let them hear old Rudolph's bells As Santa's sleigh flies by.
The end