by Monty Wells There's a Ladies and Gents toilet On a little open space Next to 'The Kings Head' boozer Which seems the proper place The 'Gentlemen's' attendant A dapper little man Rejoices in the name of, yes Of course, you've guessed it. Dan. On the distaff side, the 'Ladies' There's an attendant too With a name to fit her job She was christened Lou And on hot summer evenings At their doors they'd stand and chat And over months true love bloomed forth I'm not surprised at that And then one night in autumn Dan so shyly blushed To her he popped the question And poor Lou too looked flushed And so into the evening His humble suit he pressed 'Til modest Lou sighed heavily And quietly acquiesced And everyone who passed that way Knew of this love affair Orange blossom mixed with Harpic Scented all the air After they were wedded I met them looking glum Dan said Lou was thinking Of going home to Mum I asked him what had gone awry What caused this awful plight And Dan said there'd been trouble From that first nuptial night It seems they took it literally (I'd thought they'd have more sense) Council told them they should honeymoon At their own convenience!
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