Once a cross-eyed maiden, with heart both light and free
Pulled my whiskers, climbed on my knee
'Oh tell me a story' she sweetly did cry
And as I am a liar, I murmured, 'I'll try.
Once I had a sweetheart and for hours we'd spoon
In her back yard by the light of the moon
One night her dad saw me, I climbed on the wall
But his bull-dog came after, and down I did fall.

Chorus: After the fall was over, after my clothes were torn
After the bull-pup leaving, and the seat of my pants were gone
My poor heart was aching, I couldn't sit down at all
For two weeks I wore a plaster, after the fall.
Performed by G.W. Hunter (1851-1936)
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