I am a railway porter as you'll notice from my dress
I'm Englishb too and have been since my birth
I used to be at Liverpool, a little village near to Goole
But now they've shifted me right off the earth
I'm a porter at a station now called 'Llanfeckfinngenneck'
The language here would dislocate your chin
And as I've no idea of Welsh, it nearly breaks my neck
When I've to shout as all the trains come in.

Chorus: 'All change for Llanfairfechan
Llanrwst, Llandaff and Brecon
Llandrillo and Llandudno
The language is so strange
All change for Llanglamorgan
It strains my vocal organ
Llan-am-march and Llang-a-mock
And Llang-a-neff and Llang-a-dock
And Llan-what-else-you-like - all change.'

The first day I took on this job I had an awful time
My word, the funny things I heard and saw
I called out names, made such a din
They had to call the doctor in
I'd got a compouind fracture of the jaw
I'm much more used to it by now
It doesn't hurt me much
To passengers such fairy tales I tell
If I forget a Welsh name I just speak in Double-Dutch
Somehow that seems to answer just as well.

Written and composed by Worton David & George Arthurs
Performed by Wilkie Bard (1874-1944)
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