Just to amuse the baby
I've been crawling about on the hearthrug tonight
Just to amuse the baby
It took just eighteen of us to put him to bed
And we sang lullabies which would wake up the dead
And our clergyman actually stood on his head
Just to amuse the baby.
Chorus: We're all doing something for baby, baby, baby
Father and Mother and Sister and Brother
Are all doing some little job or the other
For the baby, baby, baby, keeps us in employ
We're as busy as bees, on our hands and knees
Waiting on baby boy.
Poor old Grandpa's bald-headed, they've snatched off his wig
Just to amuse the baby
Father's watch in the frying-pan's doing a jig
Just to amuse the baby
Father's cutting fine capers in Mother's old skirt
Sister Jane's blacked her face, and our masher - our Bert
For a plaything has taken off his Sunday shirt
Just to amuse the baby.
Chorus:
Uncle Bill's burst his braces through tumbling about
Just to amuse the baby
And Aunt Jane has, I vow, her false teeth taken out
Just to amuse the baby
Cousin Joe's broke a leg while pretending to fly
And to make the kid laugh when he looked like to cry
With the copper stick mother's knocked out father's eye
Just to amuse the baby.
Chorus:
We've set fire to the curtains and burnt half the house
Just to amuse the baby
And the fire-engine came and gave us all a souse
Just to amuse the baby
Through the kid our relations are all perfect wrecks
Brother Bill and I only are left above decks
And we're going home now to break our blessed necks
Just to amuse the baby.
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