Gussie was a gilded youth sitting in the stalls
In a little house up West
Of Comedy and Tragedy, Opera and Halls
Gussie used to like this best
There were four pretty girls - dainty little things
Each one like a fresh cut peach
They were dressed like little ducks with such showy wings
Gussie sent a flower round to each.

Chorus: And all the little ducks went quack, quack, quack
When they heard of the treat in store
And all their little lips went smack, smack, smack
They would soon cry out for more
And all their little wings went flap, flap, flap
They said, 'We've found a 'jay'.'
When his money had gone, one by one
All the little ducks flew away.

Gussie turned up every night for a week or more
Sitting in the same old stall
He was so very much in love - heart was very sore
For our Gussie loved them all
He at last was introduced - eventide they met
Stood some bottles - 'Mum's the word'
And the little darlings, like ducks, were fond on 'wet'
When our Gussie said, 'Drink my little bird.'


Gussie made the most of it - took them for a trot
Ducks ran up a pretty bill
And what he bought for one of them, he bought for the lot
Made our Guss a trifle ill
He began to wane a bit - they put on the screw
Said that he'd proposed to each
Then the usual scene in court - Gus was looking blue
Odds of six to four against a 'Breach'.

Written and composed by H.M. Watkins - 1904
Performed by Mark Sheridan (1867-1918)
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