Now, I'm not good at telling a story
But I'll just narrate one that's quite true
It is not about bloodshed or glory
Just fancy a Court-house you view
And the magistrate gives his attention
To a maiden who looks, oh so shy
Then he winks at her, this I will mention
She winks back, and doesn't know why.

Chorus: He made love to her on the spot
She knew her little book, and now she's got
A house in the country, and a villa up to date
All through winking at a magistrate.

You must know that she looked fascinating
(At least, that is what I've been told)
And she made herself quite captivating
The magistrate also was bold
When he saw her walk out of the lobby
He quickly vacated his seat
Running after her (as 'twere his hobby)
Escorting her into the street.


Soon he found out where she was residing
And he called on her early next day
I must own he got very confiding
When she asked him so sweetly to stay
Then he talked till the tea was all ready
(He couldn't refuse the invite)
Said he'd ever be true, fond, and steady
Convincing her all was quite right.


One fine morning the bells were heard ringing
And everyone seemed to be gay
Round the church merry children were clinging
For Oh! 'twas a grand wedding day
With the sound of a wedding march swelling
The happy pair passed through the gate
But the one thing I'm bashful in telling
Is that I am that magistrate.

Written and composed by J.W. Hall
Performed by Nellie Wilson
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