It's a glorious thing as we don't live,
Where there ain't no haristocrats,
Where the poor to the rich only nod,
Never troublin' to touch their 'ats.
I 'ave gone for pelf, for sez I to myself,
I ain't a goin' to try for fame;
But I mean to prove, as I knows the way to move,
With an 'andle to my name.

Chorus: Hi ham Sir Halfred 'Erbert 'Iggins,
Hand I mixes with the hupper ten;
I used to walk a West-End shop,
Things was very, very different then,
Now I 'ardly knows the price of 'ose
And I'm 'orrified to 'ear of trade.
I 'ob-nob with the toffs as I used to serve
Hin the Burlington Harcade.

I ain't goin' to say 'ow 'ard I've worked,
To become the feller I ham,
For there ain't not a job as I've hever shirked,
Whether dealin' in 'ats or 'am.
But I kep' my heye on the sweet bye-and-bye,
'Twas a very hinterestin' game,
And at last I've scored, for altho' I'm not a Lord,
I've an 'andle to my name.


'Er fair Ladyship was once hemployed
In a bar as manageress,
An' now when she meets 'er late boss in the streets,
'E will talk of the hold address!
'Twas a first class 'Pub' but she give 'im a snub,
The last time as 'e tried that game.
When 'e raised 'is 'at, well, she told 'im flat
She's an 'andle to 'er name.


Written, composed and performed by Albert Chevalier (1861-1923) - 1900
From Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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