On a shelf at the top, in a large toy shop
In the midst of the Lowther Arcade
By the side of the famous Tin Gee-gee
I there was once displayed
Only four D is the price of me, said the ticket upon my chest
I was cheap, I suppose, as I'd very few clothes
And wasn't wax like the rest
As the years unrolled I remained unsold
And did nought but pine and sigh
Till one fine day, in the month of May
I happened to catch the eye
Of a dear little girl, who to her Papa said
'That is the one I'd choose
For I really believe I could love that doll.'
And directly I heard the news -

Chorus: I commenced to hop all over the shop
First I was here then there
In starts and fits began doing the splits
Frightened the rest of the dolls into fits
My joints flew out, I danced about
With a kind of spasmodical jerk
And as soon as that little girl touched the spring
The figure began to work.

I was carefully packed, and in paper wrapped
In her doll's house found a place
She tolds me the name she would call me by
And having washed my face
Gave me some jam, then with an old lamb,
Who was minus his tail and head
A duck who quack-quacked, and some tea-things all cracked
I was instantly put to bed
And then every day she and I would play
And as soon as she older grew
I'd to play the part of her sweetheart
And I liked it, twixt me and you
When e'er I did wrong she would box my ears
And sulky for hours remain
But directly she kissed me and made it up
Then I'd feel my feet again.


I was happy and gay, till there came a day
I received the worst of shocks
For the lamb, the duck, and poor little me
Were all put in a box
She had found new joys, got too big for toys
And the dear little artful miss
Had hit on a plan, then to have a young man
Instead of a doll to kiss
I went off my head, and the toys all said
As they laughed at me, 'Oh! oh!
You should be sent up to Parliament
Where the wooden heads mostly go.'
So now I'm left, all on my own
Which to me appears a crime
With no one to love and nothing to do
But think of the good old time.

Performed by Arthur Nelstone (1870-1929)
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