The p'lice force is a noble band that safely guard our streets
Their valour is unquestioned and they're noted for their feats
If anything you wish to know they'll tell you with a grin
In fact each one of them is a complete Enquire Within.

Chorus: If you want to know the time ask a p'liceman
The proper Greenwich time, ask a p'liceman
Ev'ry member of the force, has a watch and chain of course
If you want to know the time ask a p'liceman.

If you stay out late at night and pass through regions queer
Thanks to those noble guardians of foes you have no fear
If drink you want and 'pubs' are shut go to the man in blue
Say you're thirsty and good-natured, and he'll show you what to do.

Chorus: If you want to get a drink, ask a p'liceman
He'll manage it I think, will a p'liceman
He'll produce the flowing pot, if the 'pubs' are shut or not
He could open all the lot, ask a p'liceman.

If your servant suddenly should leave her cosy place
Don't get out an advertisement her whereabouts to trace
You're told it was a soldier who removed her box of clothes
Don't take the information in, but ask the man who knows.

Chorus: If you don't know where she is, ask a p'liceman
For he's 'in the know' he is, ask a p'liceman
Though they say with 'red ' she flew yet its ten to one on 'blue'
For he mashes just a few. Ask a p'liceman.

And if you're getting very stout your friends say in a trice
'Consult a good physician, and he'll give you this advice
Go in for running all you can no matter when or how
And if you'd had a trainer, watch a bobby in a row.

Chorus: If you want to learn to run, ask a p'liceman
How to fly, though twenty 'stun', ask a p'liceman
Watch a bobby in a fight in a tick he's out of sight
For advice on rapid flight, ask a p'liceman.

Or if you're called away from home, and leave your wife behind
You say, 'Oh would that I had a friend to guard the house could find,
And keep my love in safety' but let you're troubles cease
You'll find the longed-for keeper in a member of the p'lice.

Chorus: If your wife should want a friend, ask a p'liceman
Who a watchful eye will lend, ask a p'liceman
Truth and honour you can trace written on his manly face
When you're gone he'll mind your place, ask a p'liceman.
PDF Sheet Music
Performed by James Fawn (1850-1923)
Composed by E. W. Rogers & A. E. Durandeau - 1889
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