Our Aunty Mog's got a beautiful shawl,
It saves our family from working at all;
Why do we always have plenty to eat?
And why do the shop-men go broke down our street?

Chorus 1: Auntie Mog's little shawl, when she's out on the crawl,
Legs of pork seem to walk, yes walk;
Pots of jam, joints of lamb, potatoes, greens and all,
When the butcher's not looking the fat for the cooking
Go under the paisley shawl.

Snipe had his trousers patched early one morn,
But when he came home again they were torn;
Neighbours said, 'Oh! where's your beautiful patch?'
Snipe turned and aswered, 'Oh! don't strike a match!'

Chorus 2: The dogs had it all, the dogs eat it all,
Mrs. Snipe patched my trousers with tripe,
Some bull pup, followed up, bit my pants and made me squall,
Now to get home I've tried ways, of walking home sideways,
With my back against the wall.

Two little frogs while a-wooing one day,
Into a dairy farm they made their way;
When at their spooning they'd had a good turn,
The bull-frog and cow-frog jumped into a churn,

Chorus 3: And the frogs on the crawl, in the milk had a fall,
They swam round, very nearly drowned,
In the cream, lovely cream, they splashed 'til evening,
And from two pats of butter, two frogs did a-flutter,
Right over the garden wall.

Our footbal team, such a very hot crew,
Start, red and white, finish up black and blue.
On our great forward we always rely,
In fact he's been known to kick holes in the sky.

Chorus 4: When he kicks at the ball, when he kicks at the ball,
He kicks so that he breaks his toe,
Then he'll shoot, with his boot and you'll here the umpire sqall,
'Oh! turn it up, Jack, you've kicked me in the back,
It isn't the ball at all.'
Written, composed and performed by Billy Williams (1877-1915)
From Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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