I'm slavey at a small hotel they call the Traveller's Rest
I like the missus well enough but I like the master best
Although I'm only twenty and he's nearly sixty-three
I'd do anything for him and he'd do anything for me.

Chorus: Why does he follow me about?
And wait up for me when it's my night out
Why? because he loves me
Why does he make my wages more?
And squeeze me behind the scullery door
Why? because he loves me.
He's rather short and fat and got no teeth or hair
And he's a bit knock-kneed but I don't care
Why does he help me shell the peas?
And stick the fork in the sausages
Why? because he loves me.

We go to Blackpool every year for week-ends by the sea
I tell folks he's my Uncle 'cos it pleases him d'you see
The missis hires a tuppeny chair and listens to the band
While we sit on the shingle there and hold each other's hand.

Chorus: Why does he take me out to swim?
And when I fall, lets me fall on him
Why? because he loves me
Why does he bob me up and down
And hold me tightly case I drown
Why? because he loves me.
If I let go his hand when we are in the blue
His knock-knees shake and he don't know what to do
Why does he give my arm a smack
And teaches me to float upon my back
Why? because he loves me.

I got ten pounds a year to start now I get twenty-four
I've only got to smile at him and he makes it ten bob more
His left off clothes he gives to me to sell to Ikey Mo
But I iron 'em out and give them to a soldier that I know.

Chorus 1: Why does he rise each morn at four?
And pop a cup of tea under my door
Why? because he loves me
Why does he chase me round the sheds?
And help me shake up the travellers' beds
Why? because he loves me.
And when he's got lumbago in his back I've got
To make him poultices all nice and hot
Why does he smile with never a frown?
If it's made too hot and it slips right down
Why? because he loves me.

Chorus 2: Why does his wife wear bits of string?
While I wear garters with diamonds in
Why? because he loves me
Why, when his wife gives me the sack?
He throws her out and he takes me back
Why? because he loves me.
I have to lather him each morning when he shaves
I pile the lather on in little waves
Why does he sit in the chair and blush?
When I tickle his chin with the lather brush
Why? because he loves me.
Written and composed by Harry Castling
Performed by Lily Morris (1882-1952)
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